Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
