My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
