Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
