she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
