What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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