I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
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