and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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