Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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