You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
well you can't waste a boner
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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