The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
