so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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