Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
