He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
