I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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