omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
