This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
