I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
