youre lurking in front of me
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
