East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
