I wish I could teleport
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
