I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
