we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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