Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
