I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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