talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
