What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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