Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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