wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
