I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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