Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
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