I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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