He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
