if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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