and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
