I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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