think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
