Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
