maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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