you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
She's the barista slut.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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