After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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