considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
