He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
