break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Randomize
