So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
