So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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