When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
