The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
