I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
