he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
