I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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